Random Musings...

I am writing after a long time..
When I had some time in my hands, I didn't feel like writing and when I felt like writing down something, I didn't have time to do so.. :-)
Well, life taught me some more lessons in past couple of weeks. I had mentioned about 'one wrong decision' in my previous post, well, not much harm was done or atleast the damage caused was lesser than I anticipated. But, it did leave me wondering, why I screw up all important decisions of my life. Now, I am scared to take any decision, because I am scared that it would again go against my expectations.
God has this funny way of playing with me. He lets me dream, then, He shows me a glimpse of my dream in the real world and shows me how beautiful it is, only to take it away from me later on!! Anyways, no complaints! I have decided to live and enjoy life as it comes...
I am back to my work and happy doing it. It keeps me busy, but I want to get busier, just like my friends and near ones. Everyone close to me is busy these days, busy with their jobs, busy with their would-be's or girlfriends/boyfriends, busy with their families.
People say I am demanding, I demand attention, I demand time. People say 'Try to understand'. I thought I did, but I guess I don't... I know at times I am unreasonable, I really am. I am very possesive and I know I have to work on it and I tried lot many times, but I haven't yet succeded.
My best friend had come to town for three days and she didn't have few mins to talk to me. But I didn't say anything, I did not complain, because I do understand. But what should I understand in this case? Can't someone spare few mins of their time to have a chat with their buddy? Somewhere, deep down I felt bad.. I did..
I have this gut feeling,that I won't be able to keep anyone happy and thats one of the reasons for me not wanting to get married!
Aarggghhh!! What all am I thinking??!!!
I better wind up my work for the day and leave a little early today